The Way You Bounce

NOTES - 1

This is about to get crazy, are you ready?
Bring it.

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?
Virgin lips right here.

Do you like the taste of beer?
Wouldn't know!

Will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
Seriously doubt it.

Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
No one's going to see this, LOL.

Is there someone who you instantly smile when you talk to them?
Kind of.

If you could only drink one thing for a month, what would it be?
Well, I want to say lemonade, because it's SOOOO GOOOD, but I'll go with water, because it's healthier and I drink it more anyways.

If you had a plane ticket to anywhere, where would you go?
If I also had money, NEW YAWWK BABY ! Shopping. <3

Who is the last person that made you smile?
Ellen DeGeneres ! <3

Is there someone that you miss right now?
Yes. So much.

Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you?
Yuup. Most were lying.

Who was the last person you were parked next to?
I can't drive yet bro.

Who was the last person you talked about your problems to?
Jeez, I don't even know ! Could of been Molly, Lily, or maybe Sirah. Or maybe Bea.
LOL I can't remember !

Do you like someone?
Sigh. yes.
Dereck. And he likes Sirah.

Do you think that you're a good person?
I try.

Did you wake up happy today?
FUCK YEAH. SNOW DAY BIIITCH !

Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
I still do, haha.

Have you ever slept in the bathroom with someone you liked?
LOL, what kind of question is that ? I've never slept in a bathroom ever. But I think I will now. haha. just to say I did.

Do you believe in kissing when you're not together yet?
Not really. I don't know.
Ask me after I've kissed someone/.

Have you kissed someone in 2011 that means a lot to you?
It's 2012 now bitch. and, VIRGIN LIPS, REMEMBER?

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
Again, I try.

Do you have trust issues?
Honestly, who doesn't?

Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?
I don't actually think I have. If I have, I don't remember.

Do you think "I love you" are strong words?
Yes. And they should be used wisely.

Do you think you can last in relationship for 6 months?
I don't see why not/.

Are you more comfortable with guys or girls? both?
depends who the person is. I'm just more comfortable around people who are as crazy as I am so I can be myself without being judged.

Do you wear eyeliner?
Everyday ? No. I used to wear a lot of make-up everyday but then I realized that, first of all, I don't need make-up to look pretty, and, second of all, if I keep wearing make-up everyday, when I'm older, my face will be so gross and dried out and wrinkly. I usually just put on a little bit of covergirl natureluxe foundation and some covergirl natureluxe lip gloss balm.

Would you rather be stuck in the pouring rain, or in a snowstorm?
If it was warm rain, rain. If it was cold rain, snowstorm.

When was the last time you were happy?
Half an hour ago when I was watching Ellen. <3

Is there anyone you wouldn't mind kissing right now?
Haha, there's a few people.
Cody Simpson, Jaden Smith, Ashton Kutcher, Ryan Higa, Justin Bieber, pretty much all the guys from One Direction and The Wanted, I could go on for a while, ;p

Do you have unlimited texting?
YES. And I'd be fucking dead without it, sad, I know.

Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past 7 hours?
VIRGIN FUCKING LIPS. GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD.

Does anyone call you babe?
Dunno. If Omegle counts then yes, BAHAHAHAH.

Was last night enjoyable for you?
Just a normal night.I watched The Voice so yeah I guess.

Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
Oh probably.

Is anything bothering you?
Yeah, some random shit.
Dereck asked Sirah to prom, she said yes, now she doesn't want to go with him because she realized she doesn't like him. SO, to re-cap, I like Dereck, Dereck likes Sirah, Sirah likes Kam, and I think Kam likes Sirah but I'm not really sure./
OH. and now she's trying to get him to like me so he'll forget about her and ask me because she doesn't want to tell him no now that she's already said yes.
WHAT A CRAZY LIFE.

Are you in a good mood right now?
Meh.

Is there someone who has made a difference in your life?
Yeah. Beck, I guess.

 Just a note to say that any names I've used in any of my blog posts are not real. The people are real and once I come up with an alias for that person, if I mention them again in one of my blog posts, it'll be under the same alias.
This does not include when I talk about Celebrities or Book Characters.

You Wanna Bet ?

Abstinence.

People don't understand why I chose to be abstinent, they also say I won't last.

Let's start with why I chose to be like this.

First and foremost, let me just say that, like any hormonal teenager I've wanted sex at one time or another. Come on, everybody has, it's not something we can control.

Anyways, I have the kind of parents who would kill me if I had sex before I got married, but that's not actually one of the reasons I'm abstinent. 

Sure, you can use condoms and birth control but there's still a chance you'll get pregnant or get an STD.

I'm used to lying to my parents, I'm perfectly comfortable lying to them about sex.

But if I got pregnant, or got an STD, it'd be kind of hard to lie about.

The other reason is simply an issue of lack of self-confidence. 

I don't mean to be cocky but, I KNOW I'm not ugly. That's not to say I'm gorgeous, because I'm not, but, I am decent looking.

But, that's with clothes on. When the clothes come off, I don't like the way my body looks. 

I also have really small boobs, which I'm fine with but, most guys like big boobs.

I would never be able to let a guy see me naked, I'm too afraid he'll be grossed out. 

I guess I feel like if a guy is willing to marry me without having sex first then he won't care about how my body looks.
Another reason is well, technically, I don't know if I want to be abstinent forever. I just don't want to have sex in high school. I want to focus on school and my friends and other stuff, not sex. I don't want to have to deal with any of that. I am not going to have sex in high school, but, I can't say the same about university, I guess we'll see.
Okay so, I know this reason sounds kind of stupid but, I'm tighter than money for people who lose their jobs during the recession.
Honestly, I can't even get a fucking tampon in there, and those things are small !
I know it's sad but, it's the truth. I'm scared that... well, if I try to have sex, what if I end up crying or something? Because I know dicks are bigger then tampons.

Now, let's move on to the 'I won't last'.

I won't last? Really? You wanna bet?

What does that even mean? If it means that I won't be able to live without the pleasures of sex, let me remind you that being a virgin, I've never experienced that before. I guess you could say I don't know what I'm missing. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly sex-crazed. I'm the kind of girl who's into romance. Sure, I may have a few kinky fantasies, but who doesn't? And it's not like I've told anyone my fantasies, they're just stored in the back of my head, I'm not stupid enough to tell people.

There's always the girls who say they'll be abstinent and then give in to the first hot guy that wants sex from them. 

I won't have that problem. The only guys after me are obsessed with Star Wars, not sex. 

Honestly though, I'm kind of the over-achiever, goody two-shoes, smart girl. Unless a guy wants to live out his naughty librarian fantasy, he won't go after me.

And even then, I'm not sexy, or hot, so guys who want sex, won't want it from me.

I don't exactly have to worry about not being able to reject guys, I won't have any guys to reject.

Unless I randomly get really hot (which won't happen) being abstinent will be a breeze.

It rattles me how people think I won't last.

Trust me guys, I have nothing to worry about.

Confessions

I truly believe there is something wrong with me. Everyone is getting a boyfriend or a prom date and I'm left alone to wonder why I can't be loved. I must be ugly. There must be something wrong with me. I just wish I knew what it was. Do I have a sign on my back that says "Don't love me" or something ?

Confessions

Whenever I'm feeling sad or lonely I read romance novels or fan fiction. It somehow makes me feel better to read about other people's love.

Confessions

I spent my whole life being afraid of my father. Being scared of him was always a little bit combined with being sad because I never got to have a good relationship with my Dad. Over the years those feelings have developed into anger. Anger that he treats me the way he does and there's nothing I can do about it. Yeah, I'm still somewhat scared of him, but the anger is much, much stronger.

Dear Whoever Cares

Okay so, instead of writing the history of my life from start to finish. I have decided to write little confessions about my life. Starting today, and I will keep going until I feel that I have let go of all the pain and hurt.

Say That You Love Me

No matter how many times I say that I don't want a boyfriend, it'll never be true.

My excuses are true, I am too busy for a relationship.

But that doesn't matter, I want lust, I want love, I want romance.

I want walks along the beach in the moonlight.

I want movie dates where we talk so much we get kicked out.

I want to hold hands in public so everyone can see we're together.

I want to hide my eyes on your chest while we watch scary movies.

I want your lips pressing against mine.

I want always and forever.

Maybe it's true that I'm not ready for that.

It doesn't matter, no one wants that with me.

It doesn't matter, there's no one ready and willing to give me that.

No boy would ever do any of that with me.

I don't for sure that no boy would ever want me like that, want me like I want you.

That's exactly why it doesn't matter. 

I'm never going to want anyone besides you. 

Believe me baby, I've tried.

I've liked other guys, other guys have liked me.

Hell, I even tried dating someone else.

He was so sweet, treated me so well, but he just wasn't you.

I'm never going to be happy with another boy.

I think I've known that for a while now, I'm just finally ready to admit it.

I'm that girl, in love with a boy who could never love her back.

Sure, it's easier to deal with your rejection when you live on the other side of the country, but that's only because you can't see the tears.

You didn't see me fall asleep crying the day you told me you didn't feel the same way.

You didn't see the cuts on my arm the day you told me you had a girlfriend.

You don't know how much it hurts when you tell me you love other girls, when you tell me about all the sweet things you've done with them.

I'm done trying to move on, because I never will.

It's been nearly 6 years since I realized I liked you.

I'll just have to be content with loneliness.

The worst part is, even if you did feel the same way, it could never work.

It's not even the fact that we'd have a long-distance relationship, you've done that before, and I could handle it because I'd do anything to be with you.

It's religion. That's why I don't believe in god.

If you ever felt the same way, you'd have to give up your religion to be with me, and I don't think you'd do that for me.

Why don't I think you'd do that ?

Simple. Because I'm willing do to anything for you except convert my religion to yours, because I don't believe in it. I'm not very religious but I just couldn't do something like that.

So there you have it, another love note that you'll never see. My unrequited love for you feels like it well never fade, but I can hope, and I can dream, that one fateful day I'll meet someone, someone who'll love me enough that they'll make see you're not worth it. But if that doesn't happen...

I will always love you, until the day I die, and probably even after that.