Say That You Love Me

No matter how many times I say that I don't want a boyfriend, it'll never be true.

My excuses are true, I am too busy for a relationship.

But that doesn't matter, I want lust, I want love, I want romance.

I want walks along the beach in the moonlight.

I want movie dates where we talk so much we get kicked out.

I want to hold hands in public so everyone can see we're together.

I want to hide my eyes on your chest while we watch scary movies.

I want your lips pressing against mine.

I want always and forever.

Maybe it's true that I'm not ready for that.

It doesn't matter, no one wants that with me.

It doesn't matter, there's no one ready and willing to give me that.

No boy would ever do any of that with me.

I don't for sure that no boy would ever want me like that, want me like I want you.

That's exactly why it doesn't matter. 

I'm never going to want anyone besides you. 

Believe me baby, I've tried.

I've liked other guys, other guys have liked me.

Hell, I even tried dating someone else.

He was so sweet, treated me so well, but he just wasn't you.

I'm never going to be happy with another boy.

I think I've known that for a while now, I'm just finally ready to admit it.

I'm that girl, in love with a boy who could never love her back.

Sure, it's easier to deal with your rejection when you live on the other side of the country, but that's only because you can't see the tears.

You didn't see me fall asleep crying the day you told me you didn't feel the same way.

You didn't see the cuts on my arm the day you told me you had a girlfriend.

You don't know how much it hurts when you tell me you love other girls, when you tell me about all the sweet things you've done with them.

I'm done trying to move on, because I never will.

It's been nearly 6 years since I realized I liked you.

I'll just have to be content with loneliness.

The worst part is, even if you did feel the same way, it could never work.

It's not even the fact that we'd have a long-distance relationship, you've done that before, and I could handle it because I'd do anything to be with you.

It's religion. That's why I don't believe in god.

If you ever felt the same way, you'd have to give up your religion to be with me, and I don't think you'd do that for me.

Why don't I think you'd do that ?

Simple. Because I'm willing do to anything for you except convert my religion to yours, because I don't believe in it. I'm not very religious but I just couldn't do something like that.

So there you have it, another love note that you'll never see. My unrequited love for you feels like it well never fade, but I can hope, and I can dream, that one fateful day I'll meet someone, someone who'll love me enough that they'll make see you're not worth it. But if that doesn't happen...

I will always love you, until the day I die, and probably even after that.